To Cut A Vampire's Hair
by GuardianVampire13
Summary: and other random questions that plague me about Twilight vampires. My random interview with the newest branch of the Cullen family, featuring Alice and Aro!
1. Cast and Crew Questions

_**To Cut a Vampire's Hair**__** and other questions that plague me about Twilight Vampires**_

_Interviewer~ italics!_

**Edward~ Bold**

Bella~ Underlined

**Nessie~ Bold and Underlined**

_**Random Person Who will be Named, Or Not, When Featured~Boldly Italicized**_

Normal~ the flashy, bossy sign that tells everyone what to do on talk shows

_Hola, people of (Place what ever state you are currently thinking of)! And welcome to my interview with the newest branch of the Cullen Family!_

~Applause~ ~Applause~

_Yes, yes, thank you! Today, we will be answering a few of the questions that have been bothering the crew and I for quite some time! Now, who should we ask first?_

**Me! Oh, oh pick me!**

_Okay, Nessie! Does drinking a stoner's blood make you high yourself?_

**Well, I don't know because I've never drinken a stoner's blood, but it might effect me more than a full vampire.**

_Edward? Any thoughts?_

**It, uh, does, um, effect vampires, in a very intense way.**

_How so?_

_**~Alice runs across stage~ Weeeeeee! ~Disappears~**_

**That's how.**

_Ahh, , Bella, since you haven't been questioned yet, would you care to tell us if a vampire's hair can be cut?_

**Hee, hee**

Yes, it's possible. ~Glares at Nessie~

**I cut Auntie Rosalie's hair when I was a week old. ~smiles~**

_Hmm, there a special type of scissors you have to use?_

Safety scissors. We tried it with other scissors later to fix her hair, so there wasn't a rondom chunk of hair missing, but it didn't work.

_Okay, next question! If you were to yell from here, our studio in Forks, Washinton, would Aro, over in Italy, be able to hear you, and respond back?_

**Hmm, that's a good question. ~Yelling~ Aro, can you hear me?**

_**~Aro's voice, distant~ Yes!**_

**And there's your answer.**

_Okey dokey then. One more, then we'll take our commercial break. Does Alice know who killed Rosie Larsen?_

_**~Alice, from off stage~ Yup!**_

_Okay then, we're talking later, Alice. Now, viewers, after the commercial break, we will be taking questions from you and the live audience for the Cullens to answer. And if you just happen to be a vampire, and have found different results to any of the questions that have been asked so far, call in (write a review) and let us know your results! We'll be back after this commertial break!_

_**Alright, people, here's the deal, I need at least three viewer questions and one challenge of one of my answers to write the next section of the show. So get suggesting!**_

_**~Isabelle~**_


	2. Viewer Questions Part 1

Scaryiest of the voltri 3=-hannahcaiusvolturi

rose's hair grow back, ever play truth or dare w/ them-Moonstar2015

_Italics- interviewer_

**Bold-Edward**

**Bold and Underlined- Nessie**

Underlined- Bella

Normal- The flashy sign that tells you what to do in a bossy manor

_**Underlined, Italicized, and Bolded- The random person who will be named at that time**_

~Applause~ ~Applause~

_Hello, everyone, and welcome back from the commercial break! While you were gone, we got a couple of suggestions for questions that viewers would like to be answered! First, we have two questions from Moonstar2015! Who would like to take it?_

I will.

_Okay! Now, Moonstar2015 wants to know; should we ever play truth or dare with you guys?_

_**(Of stage, Alice's voice) Not if you want to live. (Evil cackle)**_

Never play with Alice. Ever. Depending on Emmett's mood, he might be okay. Everyone else is fine, but watch your step with Edward when doing a truth. If you lie, or don't give the full truth, he will tell.

_Good to know! Now, Nessie, this one is for you! Moonstar2015 also wants to know if your Auntie Rosalie's hair ever grew back._

**No, Auntie Alice had to fix it with my safety scissors. Luckly, I only cut off a quater of an inch.**

_**(Rosalie walks on stage) And she got rid of the split ends I've had since I was changed! ( walks back off)**_

_There you go, Moonstar2015, the answers to your questions. Next, hannahcaiusvolturi wants to know which of the top three Volturi scare you the most. Nessie?_

**Aro. Even though he acted nice, he had an evil look in his eyes, like he wanted to lock me in a vault.**

_Hmmm, interesting. Bella?_

Caius. He ordered those people to just rip up Irina, then killed her. (Buries head in Edward's shoulder.)

_So sorry. Edward?_

**Aro.**

_Any reasons why?_

**None that I'm willing to share.**

_Sweet Sacrifice wants to know, does a humans blood taste like your favorite food?_

**Yup. Bella's blood tasted like fried chicken!**

_Okay! Now, Angel of Black and White, AKA the random who might be named, thinks differently about your tested theory of can you cut a vampire's hair. Any thoughts?_

**She must have been able to get near Rosalie with actual scissors. That was one reason we only cut it with safety scissors!**

(Shakes head)

_**I've been named! (Girl runs up on stage, holding two pistols) Liz, Patti, go! (Shoots around, hitting Bella in the shoulder. Nothing happens)**_

_Hmm, Edward, your right. You took away her soul. Bye, bye! Well see you after the commercial break with more viewer questions!_

**Hee, hee. Ten million 'Who's Line Is It Anyway?' points to anyone who can name the anime was mentioned! And, Angel of Black and White, that doesn't count!**

**~Isabelle~**


	3. Viewer Questions Part 2

_Interviewer~ italics_

Bella~ Underlined

**Nessie~ Bold and Underlined**

_**Random Person Who Will Be Named, Or Not, When Featured~ Boldy Italicized**_

Normal~ the flashy, bossy sign that tells you what to do on talk shows.

_Hey, and we are back! We have some more viewer questions!_

~Applause~ Applause~

_Yes, these first three questions are from home viewer Torie Rilistkrytcat! Who wants to take the first?_

I will.

_Okay, Bella. When a vampire eats food, do they have to cough it up or can they just leave it in their stomach?_

Ugh. It has to come back up. And it tastes twice as bad coming up. *shudders*

_Ha ha ha. Edward, do vamps have BO?_

**Not us. We think it has to do with the type of blood taken in. Vampires, like the newborns we faced, reeked. Possibly because they took in the blood of druggies and homeless.**

_Alright, and finally, for Nessie. Do you ever have to go to the restroom, or do you absorb all of your food like your parents do?_

**That one is weird! *giggles* And it's a weird answer. When I eat human food, I absorb it, but when I drink blood, I have to use the bathroom.**

_Alright! And, a studio member, Kyle, has a challenge. She says that she has played truth or dare with Alice, and lived to tell the tale. Any comments?_

_**(Alice darts on stage, furious look on face) She dared me to let her live!**_

_And there you have it! Next episode, we are bringing out Jasper, Rosalie, and Jacob to ask! So send in those questions!_

_**I'm gonna go hug Haru. I'm in the mood for cow. *grumbles, wakes of stage***_

~Applause~ ~Applause~

**Anyone know what anime was mentioned in here? 88 points for anyone (other than Sweet Sacrifice) who can name it!**

**~Isabelle~**


End file.
